Put down messages—belittling, ridiculing, disapproving

• You shouldn’t feel that way
• You have some strange ideas
• You must be kidding

Comparing

When that happened to me I handled it by....

Judging, criticizing, blaming

• I can’t believe that
• You might not be having these problems now if you had...

Preaching, moralizing

• It’s for your own good
• There’s more fish in the sea

Diverting, avoiding, changing the subject

• Forget it
• That reminds me...

Rejecting

• Let’s not discuss that any longer
• I have to leave now, I can’t take this conversation

Challenging

• You couldn’t have done that
• You don’t really mean that

Defending

• That person has an excellent reputation
• But that doctor is very competent